shopping....

So, a couple of things....First of all, I definitely am getting fatter. I don't know if I look pregnant, though I would say no, but my pants are seriously uncomfortable if I can get them to actually button. It makes work rather interesting--especially since only three people that I work with even know. I really don't want everyone to think I am getting super fat, and well, lazy. I mean, shit I am even back going to the gym. So, this leaves me with two things to do: #1 tell my co-workers, and #2 shop.

My boss offered (jokingly...I think) to email everyone. Um, no...I'll just have to deal with the 50 year old secretaries on my own. Or, I wait until the department christmas party on Friday and maybe they'll notice I'm not drinking. I'll keep you posted.

Now, shopping. I got a text and several emails from my mother in law who, if you have been paying attention, has been overwhelming and annoying throughout this process. The reason is her excitement is not coinciding with my fear. I get that her daughter lives 3000 miles away so she missed all the pregnancy stuff, but I am very self-sufficient and I share the pregnancy stuff, along with everything else, with certain friends. I don't share with my own mom, so she can't expect me to offer up all details and want to shop with her for baby crap constantly, but she does.

Well, I did buy a bigger bra and two be-bands (target version of bella band) so that was really it. I am literally scared shitless to go to a maternity store...or well, I was. I felt that I still don't belong, that I'm not worthy of it. I asked the resolve message board for advice and they were all very responsive and helpful. I was told that it's just shopping, that I should try to bring a supportive friend first (can't really do that...) and that I shouldn't let infertility rob me of what should be fun. That kinda got to me, because that's exactly what's happening. They also said that I would be much more comfortable. Since I can't wear sweats to work, I'd agree with that one.

So, I am going with the MIL on Monday. She said her daughter really liked the maternity section at the GAP and somewhere else. I think I want to go to an actual maternity store, though. I am up to it. Especially if the MIL is going to buy some clothes for me. Wish me luck!