Honeymoon trimester? Seems like BS to me...

I've read that I am supposed to feel much of the following in the 2nd trimester:

-good
-not tired
-horny (for lack of a better word)
-not having to pee every 20 minutes
-not that big
-not nauseous
-more flexible
-able to feel kicking

Of those....well, I don't feel sick. I feel her moving around at times, but only from the inside so that's not really as reassuring as it could be (could be something I ate everyday).

What I REALLY feel:

-fat
-tired
-huge
-not horny
-frustrated with my clothing options (whoever thinks that whole panel thing was a good idea is a moron)
-the need to pee ALL THE TIME (which, in reality, is not THAT different from my non-pregnant life, though I haven't slept through the night since August)
-emotional
-heartburn
-rib pain

This seems like more negative than positive, and I don't think I am, necessarily.

Now, the sex thing has me pissed off, and I am sure the d-man as well. I know that will be off the table for a while after the baby but I'm not that into it. I know the uncomfortableness of my body has a lot to do with it, so maybe I need to work on that, but I keep getting the shaft in the hormone department! Or not getting it...(sorry it just came to me....and I could comment on the comment but I won't)

Perhaps this "honeymoon trimester" is based on the whole picture. I'm sure it is, which makes me so not excited about the third trimester. Of course, I am constantly worried about what can go wrong, what IS wrong, that I will fall on my face and therefore my stomach, that someone will punch me in the stomach (not sure where that fear comes from), that I ate something wrong and Listeria is just around the corner....

Well, someone I know was talking about someone who got pregnant after years of infertility and she was saying how this particular woman was complaining about pregnancy. Her statement was she should just be happy she got there since she complained so much about NOT being pregnant. SO....I should let her know that it isn't fun regardless of how you get there, and everyone has the right to complain. Actually, it feels like I am normal for a change....uncomfortable, but normal.