Okay, so I called the doctor's office. Yes, it was positive but after five tests on my own, I kinda figured as much. Now I wait to go to my first appointment next week. At that point I'll be eight and a half weeks. Hopefully I can get it together here. I keep eating crap i.e., sugar, I haven't been to the gym in three days (yes that is actually a long time for me) and I still can't seem to believe this. I tried to order a steamer at Starbucks and ended up with some frozen vanilla concoction. More sugar and I didn't mean this one. I don't consider this behavior crazy; I haven't succumbed to many shamrock shakes or anything but I need to get healthy. I have no problem staying away from booze and I "gave it up for lent." Of course, if I get into any conversations about the pope's stance on IVF no one will buy that.
Anyway, I am rambling. I feel like I am in limbo. I need a doctor to say to my face that I am pregnant. I need to feel it. I haven't felt nauseous since Saturday, so that freaks me out too. At least last time I was bloated as all hell. Now I don't feel any different. I'm really scared that this won't last or I did something to mess it up. It really is a gift and if I did something when I didn't know, I blew it.
I'll just wait and see, and see the response of my doc on Thursday. Starting now......less sugar.
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