first week home score: baby-1 mommy and daddy-0

I am completely exhausted right now. When the books say don't clean and leave the laundry...really, they mean it. I mean the bathtub looks amazing, but probably not worth it. Today is the two week mark, not of her birth, but of my going into labor. I should have realized that the labor was the easy part. I mean, I knew that the first week...well, almost two...were going to be hard, but this is ridiculous.

I'm wondering what it is like for those who do not attempt to breastfeed. I think that getting up to feed, even though if the baby is anything like my daughter, she'll fight getting up, isn't as hard when you can switch off who does it, and the food is dependent on mixing it, not making it. I knew that nursing was going to suck (no pun intended) but I didn't realize how much and why during this first couple of weeks. First of all, the books say it's easy. Everything says it's the best, which is why I am doing it...not for me or any crazy "I love to see the baby suckling" thing...it's all for her. I should just "get it" and so should she. Doctors say otherwise, that we are both learning. I think that is obvious. The other issue is the actual milk. It ain't exactly flowing...and everyone says that it WILL, but it is making things hard...it's there, but not in crazy amounts.

So, the first week was initiated with a visit from a home nurse to take blood from the baby and check her out because she was a bit jaundiced, nothing too crazy, though. That was fine, though I really didn't like seeing her get blood taken from her foot. That was the first of my protective instincts, I guess. I mean, I could slice my finger off and be better with that than see her in pain. That is unreal. I don't want to be overprotective or anything so I need to work on that. Anyway, the week was also filled with visits to the inlaws, where I had the same feelings. MIL wanted to dote on her (fine) and take her for walks down the bug-infested and sun/heat filled driveway. My pleas of "keep her out of the sun" were dismissed and I just wanted to take the baby away from all of this craziness. Something else to get used to....

Still throughout, I was nursing...attempting...I started to get real milk in, but not to the extent that she was jumping at sucking on me. She still isn't at that point. Neither am I. By the end of the weekend, she was not waking to eat, seemed lethargic and we actually called the doc. Things were okay...and that was our first freak out call to the doctor during off-hours.

And THAT was the first week.....