lasting friendships?

Okay..this was a weekend that I was both looking forward to and dreading. My four high school girlfriends and I were heading to one house for the weekend. Usually we go camping, the five girls. We make smores, have beers, pitch tents and catch up on each others lives. Well, we decided that this year (well before I found out about all the infertility stuff) we would bring the husbands...and the kids. I'll admit, it wasn't the best. There were other reasons why it was a bad idea (personalities play a part here) but I'll stick to the infertility reasons for this. Otherwise, that's a whole other blog.
I was pretty scared after my IVF failed about how I would deal with seeing everyone with their kids. I wasn't sure if I could handle it, especially since it was SO hard right after to even be around people with babies or toddlers. I also have some friends who tend to talk baby or about everything that they are doing regarding parenting. I know that's not unusual, but I didn't want to hear it. SO, I sent an email. Granted, I sent it a while ago, but I still sent it. I thought it really explained why I didn't want to listen to baby stories, what I was feeling, and that I would like support. I got some responses, via email, and a non-response. great. I do have one extremely supportive friend in this group, but the others, and especially the host, I wasn't so sure about...
So. I did have a hard time at first. Saturday the guys went off to do something and the women were back by the pool. Everyone was playing with their kids and really not talking to each other like we usually do. It was actually kind of odd. Thus far, no one had really even asked how I was doing (well, some asked a little, and I mean a LITTLE, about the car accident I was just in). So, I was the only one with no kid to dote on, and no one seemed to give a shit about what I was going through (except my one friend..I don't put her in this group). I spent at least 45 minutes out kayaking alone, which gave me a chance to bawl my eyes out over everything without making anyone else uncomfortable. Cause you know, I cared what they felt. hint hint
After I got back, it got a little better. The men returned (including the d-man) and we played some games and we all did a 5k together. That night, the girls sat around the table and talked. Again, nothing. NOTHING. I didn't want to bring anything up, since I already had. I am not saying that others don't go through things that people don't talk about, but I mean, I put in the email that I WANTED to talk about it. I crave support, what can I say? It's kinda hard when that doesn't happen. As we were all finishing up packing to leave, the non-responder said she had been meaning to ask how everything was going and actually did. Okay, so now? Now that we are leaving?? Really? really. She said she would call. Yeah. You do that. The thing is, I'll probably freaking fill her in! But, I am on vacation for a week so perhaps I can not only ignore but also not answer her.
So, after thinking this weekend was going to be hard because I had to see people with their kids, I learned yet another hardship of infertility and relationships. People don't want to hear about it, even when you want to talk about it. In fairness, this weekend was odd all the way around in that no one really asked about anyone's lives, but they all knew that this was important to me.
When I read that some people lose friends for a while at least, while going through this, I didn't relate at first. Now I understand. Whether it's an uncomfortableness with everything, or not wanting to hear about it, or thinking I am overreacting, it doesn't really matter. It's just another thing that upsets me, and another shitty aspect of infertility.
Maybe next year we'll try camping again and I'll have the baby stories. Sadly, I won't forget this weekend.