to tell or not to tell

So, in the beginning of all of this, the d-man and I decided that we were going to share this struggle with our families. Okay, that was awkward, but whatever, it worked out since we were seeing everyone for the holidays. The more questionable thing was who of our friends were we to tell and how much should we share?

So...I went with the friends around me. I have some girlfriends that I hang out with pretty often, all of whom are single (well, one will be married soon) and none of whom have kids. I was embarrassed that I had these issues but I felt like I was holding back if I didn't share...so I did. At first it felt good, but they couldn't relate--and not because they weren't married or anything, but because you can't, I've realized, unless you go through it. I also shared with close friends who have kids and got similar reactions, except for my best friend who actually gets it. She is it, though. She said that I probably feel like I am scared that I won't have kids, that I am angry that this happened to me and terrified of what I am in for. That helped, not because those are good things, but that she kind of understood where I was coming from.

Since then, I have shared with others, and now I share with less. I've found that people don't know what to say or how to react, or think they are helping,...
Some seem to listen, only to not ask how I am doing. I know that people don't know what I want to hear, or maybe they don't think it's a big deal. The thing is, there are times when no one can say the right thing, and there are times when they really say something hurtful. People just don't seem to get it.

I've met others going through the same issues and they are invaluable...and the best people to listen. I joined a support group and it has been the best for me. The d-man is great but I can't keep burdening him. I think it comes down to the initial reaction. I have friends I share with, and those I don't. I have friends I initially shared with and don't update, and others who know every time I inject myself. There is a very small support group, but that works for me. Testing the waters may be the way to go.....